At around 10 pm on September 27, 2017 we were leaving Castle Medical Center after his second ER visit of the day (first was at Queen's). He was hungry and wanted Zippy's and asked for a mini hamburger steak and a mini spaghetti with garlic bread. That's not his usual order so I asked why. He said it's because Zippy's has a contest to give away a cruise and you get entry blanks if you order those things! He was looking forward to going on a cruise one day. He had the spaghetti and took a shower and we went to bed. At around 3 am on September 28, I called 911. At 5:31 am, he was gone.
Sharing what I wrote for his services. Thank you to my sister Jan for being my editor. There were too many memories to share so we had to edit them down. Thank you to Darrell's cousin Nathan who was our MC and mahalo to all of his friends who came from Molokai and Kauai to share their remembrances as well. We were so grateful to his sister and nieces and nephew who also participated in the program. Thank you to all the family and friends who came from near and far to be with us October 29 in Honolulu and November 10 on Molokai when we celebrated his life. It was wonderful to be surrounded by your love.
We were all so lucky to have known him and to have had him in our lives.
"One more day, one more time
One more sunset, maybe I'd be satisfied
But then again, I know what it would do
Leave me wishing still for one more day with you."
~ song by Diamond Rio
***************************************
Darrell Gene Aquino was born on October 19, 1962 in
Ho’olehua, Molokai, the third child of Conrad “Zuzu” and Leola Aquino. He joined older brother Conrad “Boy” and
older sister Candy, and sister Lisa Noe came seven and a half years later. The family lived in Maunaloa and Darrell
loved to play outside all day. The park
was nearby and his mom said she always knew where to find him.
Little Darrell was known for his huge dimples; he said that
the aunties used to tickle him to make him laugh so they could see his dimples.
He was kolohe too. He
used to tease his baby sister Noe a lot, probably because he was jealous of
being displaced as the baby of the family.
Darrell would tell Noe she was adopted and she believed him! They would also play “Miss Molokai Pageant”
and Noe would walk down the “runway” in their living room but Darrell always
made sure she didn’t win!
The family moved to Kaunakakai in the 1970’s. Darrell started working at age 15 at the
restaurant at Hotel Molokai, going to school but working a lot of hours after
school and on weekends. He always worked
hard; he bought his family’s first TV with his hard-earned money. He bought his first house when he was only
22.
At Molokai High School, he met classmates who would become
lifelong friends. Here to share some
memories about Darrell are Erlinda, Evvie and Lori.
[Evvie shared their stories, wish we had video!]
During high school, he started working at Misaki’s Grcoery
Store. He was a whiz on the register and
brightened customers’ days with his smile.
After graduation, Darrell started working at Kepuhi Sundries at the
Sheraton Molokai.
In 1985, while he was at Kepuhi Sundries, he met Carolyn,
who had transferred from Oahu to work at the Sheraton. She
would stop by to get the newspaper and buy Molokai bread and he would save the
Sunday paper for her. She finally asked
him if he would like to go out after work and have a drink at the hotel lounge
and he said yes! Darrell later said that
he was so nervous that he couldn’t balance his cash at the end of shift and
wound up throwing everything in a bag and left it!
In March
1987, Carol had to move back to Oahu for work but they kept in touch by phone
and racked up crazy high long distance charges.
On one of those calls, Darrell proposed and Carol said Yes! Soon after, Darrell quit his job and called
to say he was moving to Oahu. He found
jobs right away working as a cashier at the old Shorebird Restaurant and as a
cook at Sheraton Waikiki’s Kau Kau Corner.
In 1989,
a new fine dining restaurant called The Ship’s Tavern opened at the Moana
Surfrider Hotel. Darrell transferred
there as a server and got to wear a white suit jacket and learned how to tell
the Japanese guests “chippu was fukumarete orimasen” or “tip not
included”! Something else he learned
while working at Ship’s Tavern was that he could sing! He would go karaoke with the gang after work
and sing his favorite songs “Smoke Gets in Your Eyes” and “Only You.” He also started playing tennis again and was
really skilled.
On June
10, 1989, Darrell and Carol were married at the Sheraton Moana Surfrider Hotel. They settled into a tiny two bedroom
apartment on Huli Street in Honolulu and Darrell started working at Waialae
Country Club as a dining room host and server.
In
February 1991, they moved to Kauai and settled into a rental house in Wailua
Homesteads. Darrell was always great at
making wherever they lived a home, from tiny apartments in Honolulu to houses
in Kapaa and Kaneohe.
Darrell
landed a job at the Hyatt Regency Hotel in Poipu as a Regency Club
Concierge. He worked his way up to
becoming a Rooms Division Manager, working as Assistant Housekeeping Director
and Concierge Manager. One of the best
perks as Concierge was getting to try out all the activities on the island like
helicopter rides and boat excursions to the Na Pali Coast and eating at all the
best restaurants on Kauai for free!
In June
1992, Darrell and Carol found out they were pregnant! They also were in the process of buying a
house in Waialeale Estates in Kapaa. It
looked like Kauai was going to be home when they moved into their house in
August and then Hurricane Iniki hit on September 11. Fortunately, they and the house survived
without too much damage and through Darrell’s resourcefulness, they had warm
water to bathe with and tarps to cover the holes in the roof which Darrell
managed to accomplish even though he was afraid of heights!
Wherever
he lived and worked, Darrell always made friends. Here from Kauai are former co-workers and
friends, James and Joseph.
[James and Joseph shared their remembrances from Hyatt Regency Kauai days]
On March
4, 1993, Darrell and Carol’s son Ryan was born on Oahu. Darrell was there all through the labor and
in the delivery room. He even got to
carry Ryan up to the nursery. Darrell
became a hands-on Dad even though he had a hard time with diapers at
first. Well, actually he said he wasn’t
changing any poopy diapers, but that changed fast! Darrell was the one with the magic touch in
always getting Ryan to sleep.
When
Ryan was 9, the family moved back to Oahu where Darrell got a job as Executive
Housekeeper at the Doubletree Alana Waikiki.
As was the case everywhere he worked, his co-workers and employees loved
him. One year, they gave him a huge
surprise birthday party with the whole department contributing food. He was also featured in a special Doubletree
brand publication called “Heroes of the Brand Promise.” His write-up said “He has gained the trust
and respect of his staff and colleagues with his positive attitude, willingness
to learn, flexibility and ‘go for the green’ attitude.”
He was
active in community service projects like raising funds and collecting food for
the Hawaii Food Bank, recycling cans and bottles for the hotel, and working the
hotel aid station at the Visitor Industry Charity Walk every year.
When
Ryan got into Kamehameha for 7th grade, Darrell was a proud and
active parent, picking up rubbish and making malasadas at Ho’olaulea, going to
Ryan’s wrestling matches and almost every band performance and football
game. He was an active volunteer for the
Kamehameha band, helping wherever he could.
Family
was always so important to Darrell. Even
though he had left Molokai 30 years ago, he was still very close to his family
and looked forward to spending time with his nieces, nephews and grand-nieces
and nephews. He was so excited with his
sister Candy had her first daughter Ipo, and he loved to spoil her and her
sister Ehu. He was even in the delivery
room helping to coach Ehu when she gave birth to her first son Kolee.
His
sister Noe, nieces Ipo and Ehu will perform a hula for
Darrell.
E Ku’u
Sweet Poina Ole
My
sweet, unforgettable lei…you are never fading….
Return
and let us be together…
[Girls
danced]
Darrell
was first diagnosed with diabetes at age 25.
He went to the classes and took his medicines and he was fine for a long
time but around 2008, he started to have more problems with his health. Despite
all of this, Darrell still kept on going, helping at Kamehameha and traveling
with the band to California, Maui, and Japan, and also on his own. There was probably a Vegas trip at least once
a year!
In 2014,
Darrell got yet another infection in his left foot and leg that would not
heal. The doctor recommended that his
leg be amputated below the knee to save his life in case the infection spread
to his organs. In July of that year
while recovering in the hospital from the amputation, Darrell had a heart
attack and was rushed to the cardiac intensive care unit. The cardiologist assigned to his case said
there was nothing she could do to clear the blockage near his heart and that he
needed to make some “end of life decisions,” but thankfully, another surgeon
was able to clear the blockage. This
doctor performed this amazing procedure 3 more times because Darrell had an
aggressive form of heart disease that clogs his arteries. Later that year, Darrell underwent another
surgery to amputate the same leg above the knee. After his leg healed, he got a prosthetic leg
and learned to walk with it. He was
independent again and driving himself to dialysis three times a week and going
holo-holo.
Last
year, during a routine check-up with the vascular surgeon, the doctor found a
serious issue in his carotid artery which left unchecked could cause another
stroke or even death. Darrell once again
underwent an intense 6 hour surgery and was saved yet again. He and Carol joked that he had 9 lives like a
cat because most people would have died already going through everything he
had. This past February, he was in the
hospital 3 times in one month, all for different things; eye surgery,
recurrence of appendicitis and an angioplasty to open up the blood vessel near
his heart again.
In
August, Darrell was well enough for the family to go on a quick vacation to San
Francisco where they had a great time visiting with cousins and friends.
It
looked like he was getting stronger and feeling better. He was going to
physical therapy so he could use his prosthesis and start driving again. But suddenly on September 28, Darrell was having
trouble breathing and then he wasn’t breathing at all. The paramedics, doctors and staff at Castle
Medical couldn’t revive him. His heart had been weakened by the previous heart
attacks and finally gave out. Carol,
Ryan, Jan, Craig and Dad sat with him until his heart stopped and he passed
away at 5:31am.
Darrell
was a fighter, so brave throughout all his health struggles and so strong-minded,
pushing himself even though he felt tired or weak.
Hopefully,
he is at peace wherever he is and not mad that his body gave out before he was
ready. We all wish he had at least one
more day.
[Nephew Pono
performed “One More Day”]
On
behalf of the family, we would like to thank all of you for coming today, from
near and far. Darrell would have been so
happy to see all of you and talk story.
Being at home and not working was isolating but he still tried to keep
updated with everyone via Facebook and calls.
Thank
you for all of your calls, texts, posts and cards, for sharing memories of
Darrell and letting us know how much Darrell was loved by so many, how he
brightened your lives with his smile, kindness and great sense of humor. He will always be with us.
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