We didn't know it would be her last.
When people posted "happy birthday" on Facebook to someone who had passed away, I was always like, "that's silly, they don't have a birthday, and it's definitely not happy because, uh, they're dead."
But I get it now.
It's just a way of remembering them, letting everyone know that person is on your mind, that the person was important to you, and to ask people to remember that person with you.
I can't believe it's almost six months since you've been gone, Mom.
Every month on the 13th, I think that I'll post something about Mom. I have unpublished posts that I started but never finished.
There are so many things in the house that remind me of her...there's a handwritten recipe stuck with a magnet to the fridge, her embroidered dish cloths in use in the kitchen, telephone numbers posted up by the phones. Even the yardstick that is always on the dryer in the garage reminds me of her! It's there because she and I are too short to push the clothesline out of the way when the wash room door tangles with it, so we always used the yardstick to move it. Such a practical person, my Mom. I would probably just try to jump up and move it, but it's so much easier to just use the stick. When I hang my clothes up on hangers on the line, I always remember her saying to make sure to secure the hangers with clothes pins so my clothes don't blow away. And when I didn't listen and didn't use clothes pins, I would come out later and she had put them on for me.
The four months from when she was diagnosed until she passed away were the worst, not just because of the fact that she was dying and knew it, but also because of what her condition did to her.
I try to remember only the better times, not the trying and hurtful times during the last months.
The final resting place she chose is almost ready, but I would like to keep her ashes at home with us a while longer. We weren't able to bring her home at the end like she wanted, but it's a comfort to me that she is still at home now.
Love you, Mom. Happy birthday, wherever you are, and hope you are at peace.
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